Finding Resolve Together: A Letter of Resilience and Renewal for Those of Us Living with Depression
my service
Dear Brave Friends, if you’re reading this I want you to know; I see you. I cannot pretend to understand the battles you face each day, but I can stand with you as you navigate the challenges. Today, I’m writing to share an update, and to extend my heartfelt encouragement.
Trigger warning: some of the issues shared may be triggering, including family crisis, chronic illness, depression, multiple sclerosis and stroke
This past year I’ve been in crisis mode. Let’s trace the stream back to that liminal time when I got that terrifying phone call.
It was just after Christmas (2023) and when my phone rang, my stomach lurched in anticipation. Through tears his voice informed me that my beautiful Mum had suffered a stroke.
I booked the next available flight to be by her side.
The long haul flight from London Heathow to Perth Australia was surreal. It wasn’t until I disembarked from the plane in Adelaide that the shock began to set in. I had just left the UK in the coldest blast of winter, to be completely dazzled by the glare of the morning sun, already shining bright in the bluest azure sky.
The warmth and light was hugely therapeutic, once I adjusted. It was like my depressed mind gave way to the combination of the sunburst and adrenaline.
My immediate concern was visiting Mum. Dad had responded quickly, and she received almost immediate emergency treatment. That was all I knew. It wasn’t until I visited her that I was able to establish the severity of the situation. Even though Mum had survived the stroke, the fact that she was also suffering from many years of crippling MS, complicated her treatment.
As the days stretched into weeks, exhaustion and emotional distress set in. When I wasn’t sitting by her side in the hospital, I would curl up in bed, terrified the sun’s beneficial effect was going to wear off.
I won’t go too much into what happened, except to say that the moment I got on the plane to return home to the UK, I felt so conflicted. I didn’t want to leave Mum’s side, but I could feel my mental health beginning to decline and I missed my family back home.
I wrote this for you because I want you to know in those moments when you feel stressed and upset, it’s important to care for your own needs first. In today’s post I’m sharing some of the little things that have helped me cope with recovering from a family crisis.
The Smothering Effect of Depression
When you have depression, it can inhibit your ability to recognize the core of who you are – fully human, we are wired for survival and at our core, intrinsically resilient.
A Note on Resilience?
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult situations and adapt to change. Building resilience is not about avoiding difficult emotions or being strong all the time. It’s important to note resilience isn’t a personal trait either.
It can be helpful to view resilience as a skill (or muscle) that you can practice and develop gradually.
When it comes to building resilience, depression can make progress appear incredibly slow. Keep the faith. Every step is strengthening your capacity to cope, while giving you a sense that there are healthy things you can do to feel better.
Activities that help build and strengthen resilience might include practicing mindfulness, or engaging in physical activities to gently move and stretch your body.
Embracing Small Steps and Celebrating Victories
I understand how immense it can be to face the enormity and overwhelm of getting out of bed each day and facing the world.
But here you are, demonstrating immense courage and resilience as you read these words.
The fact that you and I keep going, despite the challenges of living with depression, is powerful.
It’s important to remember that healing and progress happen in small steps. Don’t compare yourself to people who don’t share the struggle of living with depression. Remind yourself, you don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to embrace the process.
Building a Supportive Network
Building a supportive network is vital when you have depression. It is essential to keep in mind depression is a serious medical condition that should not be taken lightly. And while it may seem like a weakness to seek professional help, it is actually a sign of great strength.
It is crucial to remember that depression can be unpredictable and can take a severe turn very quickly.
Reflecting on the way depression has cast its shadow upon my blogging efforts, I can’t help but feel grateful for the constant support and encouragement I have received from reaching out for support.
And that is why dear reader, I encourage you to reach out for support as soon as you start to feel like you may be struggling.
Whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or simply talking to friends and family, having a support system in place can make all the difference.
Cultivating Self-Compassion and Acceptance
In the midst of depression, it’s important to cultivate self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself, my brave friend, recovery takes time and it’s okay to have setbacks.
One symptom of depression is the presence of a negative mental filter that constantly generates self-critical thoughts. This may lead to a cycle of self-blame and self-loathing that can be difficult to break.
While it’s important to seek therapy, when you do find your thoughts turning to self-blame, observe and start to look at the situation as if you are with a dear friend.
Be kind to your mind and offer yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would extend to a beloved friend.
It can feel a little strange at first, but by allowing yourself moments of rest, self-care and the chance to engage in activities that soothe and calm you, you are interrupting the cycle.
Every step you take towards compassion shows immense courage and resilience
In times of low energy, find solace in activities that bring you joy and peace. Immerse yourself in the beauty of nature, revisit a book or movie that inspires you, or simply allow yourself to rest and rejuvenate.
Healing is Not Linear
As I continue to work through the challenges of accepting the limitations that come with depression, I am faced with the added stress of an unforeseen family crisis. While it may be tempting to think that healing is a linear process, the reality is that it often involves ups and downs, twists and turns, and moments of both progress and setbacks. In this particular situation, I am learning to be patient with myself and my emotions, and to take things one step at a time.
Healing is an intricate process that requires time and patience. You can’t rush your healing, it’s completely okay to take your time and allow yourself to go through the process at your own pace. Rest your focus on the little things that soothe and support yourself through the process.
I’m so grateful for the love and support of I’ve received during this challenging time. This includes not just the love of family and friends, but also the love of my sweet fur-baby cat, Annabelle.
With the right support and guidance, you can begin to gather together the scattered pieces of your soul. You can weave them back together with threads of resilience and self-compassion, emerging stronger and more resilient than ever before.
As I bring this open letter to a close, I want you to remember you are stronger than you think, and you possess an incredible capacity for healing and growth. Your journey may be difficult, but it’s important to remember that healing is not linear, and setbacks do not define your progress.
Thank you for taking the time to read and connect with these words.
With heartfelt love and understanding,
PS: Let’s share our thoughts on the complexities of living with depression in the comments below. I wonder, “What strategies have you found helpful in coping with low energy during depressive episodes?”
Please share in the comments below, your words have the power to inspire, uplift, and ignite hope in the hearts of others. So, let your voice be heard, and let us forge connections that remind us we are not alone. Together, we can illuminate the darkness and navigate this journey with resilience and grace.