“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need. “ – Kristen Neff

Being kind to your mind is a huge challenge when depression flares.

When your mind is disturbed by depression, it can lead to low mood, loss of sense enjoyment and avoiding activities that once gave you a sense of pleasure

In the midst of this downward spiral automatic negative thoughts, a symptom of depression, bombard the mind with unkind, unhelpful thoughts.

What is Self-Compassion

[eltdf_dropcaps type=”normal” color=”” background_color=””]S[/eltdf_dropcaps]elf compassion is a practice we can use to calm and soothe the mind when depression flares.

In our opening quote, Kristen Neff, a pioneer in the study of self-compassion, shares this insight on her website

Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?

How to Practice Self-Compassion

Practicing self-compassion when you are dealing with depression is a process.  It’s important to be patient with yourself and start with small gestures of kindness.

When you feel the impulse to judge yourself harshly or blame yourself for what depression deems “unacceptable emotions”, do this instead:

• Remind yourself depression isn’t a choice
• Become aware of your breath
• Use your breath as an anchor, a cue to relax into your body.

While it might sound relatively simple to redirect your thoughts in this way, when you’re struggling with depression it takes concentrated effort. One thing I’ve found really helpful and supportive in developing self-compassion is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

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How to Be Kind to Your Mind When Depression Flares 

 

1. Take a Deep Breath

Learning to regulate and be with intense emotion starts with your breath.  Let the sound of your breath calm and ground you. 

 

2. Come Home to Your Body

As you become aware of your breath, imagine it is anchoring you into your body.  Remind yourself that depression is not the enemy.  Your body is not the enemy. 

Breathe and let your breath bring you home to your body. You can trust your body. When you are triggered, remind yourself that your body is responding beautifully to what it perceives as a threat. Cultivate a sense of appreciation for your body even when hyper-responsive, because your body is always working hard to keep you safe. 

 

3. Think in terms of embracing tiny brave changes

Be patient and give your mind time and space to adapt, as you implement tiny brave acts of kindness towards yourself.  

 

4. Let the words of self-compassion expert, Kristen Nuff, shift your perspective

Stop and ask yourself, ” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?

 

5. Take things one step at a time

Sometimes talking harshly to yourself can become the default way of relating with yourself.  Start to regard and treat yourself as you would relate with a dear friend.  

 

6. Give yourself warmth

If you are able and the weather permits, try and get out in the sunlight.  Otherwise find ways to wrap yourself in warmth. Simple things, like a hot-water bottle,  mug of tea, or a blanket can provide a sense of cosy comfort.  

 

7. Connect with Nature

Spending some time each day in Nature can be deeply restorative, even if it doesn’t feel like it. 

 

Being kind to your mind when depression flares is a practice.  Depression triggers a tendency to think in extremes. 

The truth is, you are stronger and more resilient than your thoughts and feelings. Beyond depression, you can begin to create some supportive practices.

Start small and enlist the support of family and close friends.  Open to discovering ways to reconnect with activities that nourish your heart.

And if you are suffering right now, please know you are not alone. Please always remember if your depression feels unmanageable, to ask a friend, family member or mental health professional for help. I’ve also put together a list of helplines for you here. 

 

Until next time brave friend, be kind to yourself.

PS: you are stronger than you think you are – and you are healing.

 

Please share your thoughts about depression stigma in the comments below, or if you prefer come say hello on Instagram @bravelysheblogs with the hashtag #beyourownkindofbrave so I can find you