How to Champion and Care for Yourself When Depression Hits You Hard

A depressive episode can flare without warning and it’s important to know what to do, so you can access the support you need.

When depression hits you hard, it’s vital to reach out for mental health support, but in the intensity of the moment, it can be difficult to open up and ask for help. That’s why it’s so important to learn to champion yourself, one brave action at a time.

Before I share what learning to champion for yourself looks like, we need to appreciate that depression is not a case of mind over matter, it is a serious medical condition that directly affects the way your brain functions.

The intensity of a depressive episode can push you to your edge. When things feel overwhelming please don’t minimise your experience by trying to put on a brave face. Please don’t stay silent, pick up the phone and call a friend, your doctor or a mental health helpline.

When it comes to managing depression, nothing can replace medication and/or therapy, but there are some things you can do to help you feel better and more able to cope.

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be kind to your mind

It’s discouraging when you feel like you are managing well and depression flares, making you hyper-sensitive to all the sensations of discomfort pushing on your body and mind.

Depression disrupts brain activity, pushing your mind into the habit of self-criticism. Make a brave promise to yourself that you will try your best to stop being so hard on yourself.

Depression is unfair and extremely disruptive, but layering our discomfort with unrealistic expectations compounds our suffering.

Championing yourself through depression means:

• Letting go of how you think you should be coping with depression. 
• Being aware of the way people place a lot of importance on using mindfulness to lessen the impact of depressed thinking, but this approach is not necessarily helpful. When you are battling depression, the situation is far more complex because you are dealing with disrupted brain function.
• Accepting the need to physiologically support your brain, both medically and through adjustments to your environment.
• Cultivating patience with yourself with the understanding learning to manage your depression will take time.

Breathe, my Darling

Regulating and slowing down your breath is a simple, but powerful way to calm your mind and nervous system

I know it sounds really simple, but using your breath to calm your mind can be incredibly self-soothing. You can use the movement of your breath to shift your awareness out of your head and into your body.

Here’s how to use your breath to self-soothe:

• Become aware of your breath
• Let your attention rest on the sound of your breath
• Focus on the sensation of the breath as it moves through your body
• Move your awareness out of your head by following your breath, down into your chest, until it settles in the belly
• Continue to follow your breath as it rises up out of your belly, flows through your chest and leaves your body.
• Don’t force the breath, just notice the natural flow of your breath.
• Notice how you don’t have to think about breathing, you can relax into the knowing your body is taking care of you. Relax into the repose of your whole body and marvel as it spontaneously regulates your breath, heartbeat and vital organs.

Become Aware of Your Whole Physical Body

The cycle of rumination, or over-thinking, is a symptom of depression that can literally cause you to feel stuck in your head.

Cultivating awareness of the sensations moving through your whole body may feel uncomfortable at first.

As you begin to experience the the calming effect of noticing your breath, start to become aware of your whole body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

Focus on the transformative power of Appreciation

Even though depression can be deeply distressing, begin to notice how your body automatically holds the space for you to survive and thrive.

You don’t have to think about breathing or maintaining all the vital systems of your body.

But when you have experienced shock or a life set back, it can push us into not trusting our body.

Here’s how you can start to cultivate a sense of trust and appreciation towards your whole body:

• Help your brain and body to self-regulate by determining what medical support works best for you. Every body is different and it can take time to fine-tune things when it comes to medication. Determine to stop paying attention to “pill shaming” which can prevent you from accessing life-saving treatment.
• Listen to your body. Notice if there any niggling sensations arising in your body. Pay attention to any signs of tension or discomfort that are bothering you. When you have depression, taking care of your physical body can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to address any physical concerns you have with your doctor.
• Take daily short walks in Nature. Inhale deeply. Exhale fully. Let your senses feel enlivened by all the little sparkles of beauty.
• Get plenty of sunshine every day. If this isn’t possible due to climate conditions, investigate the possibility of using sunlight therapy lamps.
• Ensure you drink plenty of fresh filtered water to keep your brain and body well hydrated.
• Nourish you body with healthy snacks, especially when you don’t feel like eating.
• Do something every day that lifts you up and makes your body feel amazing. Sometimes the simplicity of a little hand lotion, a warm shower, or warmth of a hot water bottle can make a huge difference.
• Wrap yourself in a blanket or simply bring your arms around yourself to gently self-soothe your body
• Listen to some soothing music or ambient sounds
• If you feel heavy in your body, practice some gentle stretching or yoga to help shift the sensation of tension and/or pressure in your body. Imagine or get a sense of dropping into, or coming home to, your body.
• Never underestimate the simplicity and comfort of warm soup, tea, coffee or other warming beverage.

Whenever I’m feeling really low,
the words of my therapist faintly
glimmer on the edge
of my awareness:
“My darling, you need to learn
to champion yourself”.

Brave Insights

When depression hits it can be difficult to resist the urge to completely collapse into overwhelm. A depressed mind will make all kinds of assumptions about things. Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking, “if I can just sort myself out, it will be okay”. 

But here’s what you need to know right now. Depression isn’t about sorting yourself out. Depression is a serious and debilitating clinical condition.

Depression distorts thinking and paints a very dark picture of things. You are stronger than you think you are and every step you take in this journey reflects your true strength. 

Related Post: Five Empowering Tips For When Depression Makes You Feel Miserable

I’m not a mental health professional, everything I share here on the blog is about what I am learning in real-time while managing my own depression. It's important to respect we are all unique individuals on our own journey of recovery.